AFL: Aslant Frontal Lobes

The AFL this week released a new "social education course" for their players, encouraging them to be respectable members of the community and not the lanky dickheads they usually are*.

In this education course there is a final exam, and some shifty people have leaked a few questions for the purposes of comedy gold. Here are the three questions leaked

1) Your teammate's wife calls you to bed, thinking that you're her husband, do you:
a) Hop into bed and pretend to be the husband.
b) Walk away from the situation.

Players failing this question: Wayne Carey

2) A woman you meet at a bar has had too much to drink, do you:
a) Get her some water.
b) Call her a taxi.
c) Take her to your house for sex.

Players failing this question: Adam Heuskes, St Kilda

3) Your teammate and a woman begin to engage in intercourse in the same room as you, do you:
a) Watch.
b) Don't Watch.

Players failing this question: The Brisbane Lions

These questions seem ridiculous don't they? But it's just what happens in the world of AFL, these are big beefy guys with brains the size of peanuts who suddenly are famous athletes and every two bit skank and 16 year old is throwing their sweaty underderps at them. They need to be taught that violence and disrespect against women isn't tolerated here, it's not the 20's anymore, you can't just beat your wife for wanting to vote...

To help out the AFL I've decided to suggest a few questions to help out the lads.

4) Your wife/girlfriend/mistress/sister/mother does something to piss you, do you:
a) Talk through the situation, expressing your feelings.
b) Walk away in a huff after an argument.
c) Smash a wine glass in her face.

5) You approach a man's girlfriend for eventual sex but you are turned down, do you:
a) Get over it and move along.
b) Insist she wants your man love.
c) Beat the shit out of her with 5 of your mates.

6) Your mate has had too much to drink, do you:
a) Ensure he gets home safely.
b) Leave him to his own devices.

And just because they kick a ball in a sport that has the word "Australia" in it, they're hailed as heroes and their antics are merely brushed aside as "larrikin behaviour".

"He's really a nice boy, he was just a bit tipsy that's all"

Fuck off, they deserve no special treatment, in fact they deserve to be punished even more because these men are supposed to be role models for the younger generation.

And beating up women? What are you guys thinking? But don't let my words sway you, let uncle Chopper's message get it through your skull.