Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Soupanouver 2010

Supanova has come and gone for another year. And after a 3 hour train ride with incredibly bad smelling "men" (I use the term lightly) who were also going, I was more than happy to meet up with the handsomely erotic Rhys from The Plastic Age and photograph the day away.

3 cute booth girls dancing to some new Wii game, this was the most crowded booth of the day.

I overheard the balding guy in this booth talking to the other. "YOU SAID THIS SPIDERMAN WAS IN MINT CONDITION, THIS HAS A MINOR TEAR AND UV WEAR, THIS ISN'T MINT CONDITION!"

Emma Frost, very yes.

This young lady appeared to come as wallpaper.

Slave Leia, also very yes.

Look familiar? Here's a photo I took last year:

Yep... I really don't know what to say.

This guy came as an emoticon.

The ginger in the glasses just realised what his life has become.

Mick Gavin, Plumber by day, Party Decoration by night.

This Daria cosplay took some creative adjustments.

I thought this guy was dressed as Tom Baker, turns out he was just a douche in a scarf.
I found this Yu-Gi-Oh cosplayer wanted me to follow him into the bathroom so I could see his trap card.

Hit Girl, established 1962
This is the worst Michael Jackson I've ever seen.
I don't know what this girl came as, but the guy behind her clearly came as a pervert.
Not only is The Flash the fastest runner in the world, he's also the fastest eater of cheesburgers
A proud warrior brandishing his +2 Mace of smiting, and +3 haircut of achey breaky heart.
Nothing says Supanova like a man with a black eye and an erection.
This dedicated man came as scenery.
Middle aged Spiderman poses while Alzheimers Ironman stares off into space.
Anime, as popular as ever.

Michael Winslow being interviewed by a moron.
This guy came dressed as 1998.

And finally....


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Stripping on a Train isn't normal. On meth it is.

Fuck Ice

Ice, also known as Methamphetamine, is running through the lower rungs of Australia society like diarrhea through a tourist in Mexico. It fucks you up and makes you a total dickwad.

The last 45 minutes of my commute home was brought to you by the letter "I".

A man in his late 20's entered my carriage at Morriset, wearing a beanie, shirt and shorts, and carrying a brown paper bag. Before I could see him I could smell him, and before I could smell him I could hear him.

"fucking Scotland gun no GUN BOOOM BOOM FUCKING boom windshield gonna kill myself on your WINDshield with a GUN FUCKSHIT DOG CUNT"

instantly I took my watch off and put it in my bag with my Nintendo DS, I engaged "danger train" mode and sat forward, prepared for shit to go down.

For a few minutes he walked from carriage to carriage, swearing as he went, then he decided, out of all 8 fucking train carriages, to sit directly in front of me. Facing the other way (thank god).

Then he started singing this.

Including the guitar riffs. And in between verses he started speaking in a Scottish accent.

"fooking coonts DOG SHIT IN A SCHOONER GLASS ya FOOKing mick wank shit fuckfuckFUCKFUCKMUTHER CUNT FUCK SHITTING DOGS wheres A gun you arse KILLMYSELFKILLMYSELF and EXPLODE in the shitARSE FUCK"

Now before I go on, let me say that in the 45 minutes he was on the train he didn't stop talking once, he just kept going and going and going, singing, swearing, crying..

yes crying, in between the singing he started crying and took out a packet of Xanax from his brown paper bag and threw the pills among the carriage.

So then he started swearing that someone was throwing his Xanax around

"GET THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME I DON'T NEED XANAX, won't touch that shit i need a fucking pill fucking meeeeeth fucks that shit XANAX FUCK, ICE MUTHERFCKERS!!!"

the other 7 people in the carriage have not moved a single muscle since he came in, they haven't even dared turn their heads. I at least had the advantage of being out of his field of vision so I could witness the show.

Then he started undressing.

The man started taking his clothes off in the middle of the train.

He turned to face me and I caught a glimpse of his face, the guy must have been in his 20's, but his face looked like he was 50, it was horrible, absolutely horrible.

Off comes the jacket.

off comes the shirt.

off comes the beanie.

Then he puts his hand in his brown paper bag, and retrieves a handful of I don't know what.

He begins to rub his body down with whatever is in his hand.

All while still singing and swearing about dog shit in beer glasses.

This guy was off his face, completely in a world of his own, I'm unsure if he even knew there were other people on the train. This is the closest I've come to a person on a drug trip, and I really really REALLY do not want to witness it again.

I need a drink.