Sunday, April 27, 2008

T Shirt Heck

T-shirts have always been a way to express your love of a band, movie, or wrestling superstar. But the amount of crap I see on tshirts nowdays makes me ill, the internet is a haven of horribly bad tshirt designs that will forever marinate in the essence of an unwashed man at the back of a wardrobe until they're given to goodwill, I guarantee you'll see homeless people with Transformers shirts as pillows in the near future.

Two sites which annoy the hell out of me are Busted Tees and Snorg Tees, their ads plague the websites I frequent with their flagship models, Busted's Erica, and Snorg's Alice. These two girls appeal to the main demographics for their shirt sales, Stoners and Fratboys. And no I'm not linking to those sites. Google them if you're so inclined to have your head inserted into your anus.

Erica Sullivan is an attractive woman who looks like she hasn't had anything to eat or anywhere to sleep in the last 4 days, her eyes pierce into the distance, like she's trying to focus on a hotdog stand because she has the munchies but can't garner the strength to do so, and the majority of her photos are up against alley walls and fences, key gathering spots for stoned men looking for doritos. They also seem to enjoy photographing nipples, and the more pointy the better, because I know nothing sells me more than sex! Who cares if the shirt is about Halo, the woman is hot! I better buy it! Needless to say my nipples look horrid in those shirts compared to hers... like cocktail frankfurts that have been in the sun for a day.

Alice Fraasa on the other hand, is the model aimed at the fratboys, with her all American looks and mouth the size of texas full of shiny white teeth not unlike Julia Roberts.

She has a playful attitude and a chest size to match. Being only 19 is also a plus for the fratboys, as she is only a few years older than the women they're used to dating. And when I say "dating" I mean.. well you get the picture, lets just say it involves "drug induced relaxation" pills. However, in all fairness, the fine young ladies they exploit for sell shirts are way better than the male models they use....

Now apart from the models for these websites being cheap eyecandy for the lads, their shirts are just atrocious. If you've heard something funny in a TV show or a movie and it was funny enough to repeat it once or twice to a friend, then it's on one of their shirts. They also have a backlog of anything Will Ferrell has said in any of his movies ever, I bet you could buy $1000 worth of shirts of these people, throw them in a big tub, swish them around and then write down what each shirts says in order of you pulling them out, you'd have a sure fire comedy hit starring Will Ferrell as an obnoxious twat.

If you're going to buy a shirt online, at least buy a funny one, Tshirthell is a great site that is probably not safe for work in the slightest due to their "photograph yourself in our shirts" section, but their shirts are crude, rude, and above all.. ORIGINAL. Instead of crap you heard on Anchorman these shirts are actually good.


Evan said...

Whats your opinion on shirts that say "You lost the game" ?

Anonymous said...

Erica Sullivan is the red-headed Busted Tees model, and is decidedly more-attractive than whoever this brunette is that you have listed as Erica Sullivan.

Tom said...

Cheers anon, I noticed about 5 minutes after I posted but didn't bother changing it as the girls name was irrelevant to the main theme of the blog post.

Erica is more attractive than this brunette, but she's still a tool for selling shitty t-shirts. Plus the brunette had the pointy nipples and the stoned look.

Also, Erica has a Bruce Wayne chin.

Anonymous said...

The names may have been irrelevant to the main theme, but to anyone searching for visual comparisons between Erica and Alice, they're everything in the world. :)

(And I like Erica, Bruce Wayne chin and all.)

Anonymous said...

Seems Erika has a problem with Identity theft!
If the link didn't work - try searching on myspace for a user going under the name Billie_Tyler_UK