Wednesday, August 20, 2008

5 stereotypes of gaming

As pretty much the entire world knows, World of Warcraft has been the frontrunner of the MMORPG genre. And those of you who don't know what MMORPG stands for I envy you, you clearly have more free time than me. But I've no problem there.

I find that the people who turn their noses up the most at WoW are ex-addicts and people who think they're suprerior and have never played it, the kind of people who say they're too busy all the time and when you ask them "what's new" they say "not much".

Everything is fun in moderation, WoW is the exact same, I play a fair amount of it because there is nothing on TV and I can chat to my friends over it whenever I want, but I don't go to bed at 4am, the house isn't a mess, and my writing doesn't get done. Yes I do sometimes sit at the PC from when I get home to when I get to bed, but those nights are rare and usually occur after a long day at work when I just don't want to do anything else but something I enjoy.

Plus at $20 a month it's probably the best vaule for money around, alot of people scoff at the concept of a paid subscription to a game and then spend 30 dollars at the movie for 2 hours worth of entertainment on a movie that will probably suck, not to mention the petrol it cost to get there.

I could rant and rave about it more but who cares, the people who like WoW will agree with me and the people who don't like it can shove it.

But enough ranting, here comes the funny!

5 stereotypes of online gamers.
This is taken from my experiences in all online games, not just Warcraft.

- The 12yr old
With the ever growing rate of neglectful parents and desensitisation to violence and sex, you're bound to find more and more 12yr olds playing Call of Duty 4 at 2am on a Tuesday morning than ever before, they're rude, they're horrible at the game they're playing, and they're prone to tantrums.

The 12yr old is typically male with a squeaky voice, more squeaky than your typical 12yr old, they always choose the most flashiest character and weapons, as they have no understanding of strategy and tactics. They will rush head first into danger and then abuse everyone when they die, and it will always be in a high pitched whiney voice.

This creature will ask questions about how to change hotkeys and graphics settings, will dissapear and reappear into the game constantly and sometimes just stand there doing nothing while they're getting yelled at by a parent, they will always ask for help with the most simple task, and then swear at you if you don't agree to assist.

They also like to have the worst names in existence, like xxKilermanxx

- The underranked dictator
This person is hard to pick out straight away, they look like every other player, they don't have anything better than you in terms of rank or gear, and you think they are just a regular player slogging it out just like you. But they're not.

As soon as you're losing a round in CoD, not healing fast enough in WoW or you just moved slightly to the left instead of the right, this person will explode.

The dictator will bark orders at everyone and then blame you all when something goes wrong, he is the perfect player and knows everything about the game, despite being a lower rank than you.

- The superior moron
The moron is the guy with the highest ranking achieveable, with the best gear around. He has the golden AK47, all the achievements in multiplayer, epic gear out the arse, and his mere presence intimidates you.

That is until he plays.

The superior moron will die constantly, forget to heal, teamkill... you name it. And it makes you wonder what kind of person can get all this great stuff whilst being a complete tool at the game.

The only answer is Wing Pu, the asian guy he hired to get all the best stuff.

- The girl

An uncommon sight in most games, the girl never travels in packs and likes to talk about normal things, like music and her interests.

Chat activity increases 400% when a guild or room realises one of the characters is indeed female.

- The Anti-Socialite
This guy should, by all counts, be a normal mature being, but they are racist, sexist, abusive, and unfunny.

usually an early 30's man who lives with his mum, this guy cracks "nigga" and "chink" jokes and likes to talk about disgusting sex acts in an abnormal way to get respect and friends, but he just turns out to be a loser in his 30's who lives with his mum...

This guy is the type of person who found out about September 11 on October 4th, stuck in his own little world masturbating furiously to cartoons of animal people.

Avoid this creature, he is the worst of them all.


taylorf21 said...

Very funny like most of your rants. I can't say that I play many online games, but now i know what is in store for me if i ever start.

Ruroremy said...

You forgot the guy who joins team games and wants to stay away from the team as far as possible.
The kind of guy who knifes you just for spawning next to you, or yell at you for getting too close to him.
The kind of guy that always gets teamed up on by and enemy group and then gets angry that is wasn't 1 on 1.